


Bloodied Hands

by FluffyGhosty



Series: Sam x Reader fics [25]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Demon Blood, Detox, F/M, Hallucinations, Light Angst, Reader-Insert, Rehabilitation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 18:59:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17269283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffyGhosty/pseuds/FluffyGhosty
Summary: The reader is caught having been drinking demon blood and now Sam and Dean have to help her detox.





	1. Chapter 1

The sweet taste pulsed down your throat, a feeling of power flowing through you. The girl below you wriths in pain and trys to push against you, her attempts futile as you latch onto the cut on her neck harder. It doesn't take long before she falls limp, not dead yet not alive. Thankfully the demon inside this girl keeps her from dying until someone comes along to properly kill her.

Someone like you.

You grin as you pull out a blade, strange markings running up and down the metal. Her black eyes glare up at you as she hisses, the noise quickly stopping as you plunge the knife into her chest. The orange light eminating from her giving you a small feeling of satisfaction.

With a huff you stand from the body and wipe your face on your sleeve. You do the same with the blade to cover the blood from your mouth. You look around and analyze the scene for a moment. It looks like a regular fight, no signs of blood drinking other than perhaps the cut on her neck, which you could easily explain.

"(Y/n)? You in there?" A voice calls out to you, pulling your attention from the corpse.

"Coming, Sam!" You call back as you step over the body, walking calmly out of the room.

***********  
"Well that was fun, I feel like it may have been too easy though." You sigh happily as you drop your bag into a chair in the library of the bunker.

"Someone's in a good mood." Sam scoffs, looking you over suspiciously.

"What can I say? I've got a great boyfriend, the work is easy, and the beer is never low, what more could someone ask for?" You smile and stand on your tip toes to kiss him, your tounge dancing with his.

Sam could swear he's tasted something familiar, his face faultering for a second when he realizes what it is. You however didn't see it because your back was turned at the time to dig something out of your bag. You turn around and Sam quickly smiles, silently ushering you towards your shared room. You oblige, working your way down the hall with swaying hips.

Sam watched to make sure you were far enough away before turning to Dean. "Dean, come here." He whispered urgently, the older Winchester quickly walking over to him.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked, concerned about the fact that Sam kept checking to make sure you were gone.

"I know this is going to sound crazy, but when (y/n) kissed me, I tasted something...."

"Like what? Sulfur? Drugs?" Dean half joked, falling to a more serious tone after seeing the frown lines on Sam's face as he shifted akwardly.

"Blood, Dean." He half whispered half growled. He knew he was being vague, but he could see on his face Dean knew what he meant.

"Demon blood?" He whisper-shouted, Sam hushing him.

"It was brief, but I'm sure." Dean could see sweat dripping down Sam's forhead as he got a bit jittery.

"Okay, why don't you take a seat and breathe for a second. I know how that crap messes with your head." Dean put a hand to Sam's back and pulled out a chair.

Sam sat and held his head in his hands for a moment. "I'll be okay." He took in a deep breath before continuing. "It's been a long time since... What the hell would (y/n) be doing drinking demon blood?"

"I have no idea, I'm gonna go ask her." Dean growled, stopping when Sam grapped his wrist.

"No, I'll talk to her. Just, uh, give me a second." He tried to give Dean a reassuring smile.

Dean relented and pulled up a chair next to Sam. "You sure you are gonna be okay? That was barely a taste and you are already all jittery."

"Yea, it's weird. It's been years since I've even touched the stuff, you would think it wouldn't affect me anymore."

************  
You stood just behind the wall of the hallway, the boys conversation stopping you from showing yourself.

"It's been a long time since... What the hell would (y/n) be doing drinking demon blood?" Sam asks, pain and grit in his voice almost like he was trying to restrain himself.

What does he mean by 'its been a long time'? A long time since he's met someone who drank demon blood?

"I have no idea, I'm gonna go ask her."  
Dean's low growl sent chills through your spine as you turned to run back down the hall so that he wouldn't know you were listening, but are stopped by what you would assume is Sam grabbing Dean to stop him.

"No, I'll talk to her. Just, uh, give me a second." Sam's voice sounded unsure and wavering like he was in pain, making your heart hurt.

You hear another chairs wheels squeek against the floor along with the flop of a body falling into it. "You sure you are gonna be okay? That was barely a taste and you are already all jittery."

Why would Sam be jittery? There was barely anything there, in all honestly you're not sure how he would have tasted it, the flavor should have been gone a while ago.

"Yea, it's weird. It's been years since I've even touched the stuff, you would think it wouldn't affect me anymore."

You cover your mouth to muffle your gasp. Sam used to drink demon blood? That would explain why he was able to taste it and why he's jittery, the stuff is addicting. Why did he stop? If it were up to you everyone would drink demon blood, it made you feel strong and like you were on top of the world. Better than any drug the market could concieve.

You decided to leave then, not wanting to overstay your eavesdropping antics. You make it back to your room and begin to unpack, thoughts of what they had said echoing in your head.

Sam used to drink demon blood. The idea sounded ludacris to you, that the almighty Sam Winchester fell to the level of an addict. He had to have a reason. It's not like it gives people crazy powers, just a slight buzzing feeling like after having too much to drink. The only difference between blood and alcohol was that instead of inhibiting you, it helped you open your eyes and mind to what was around you. It kept you strong and sharp, made you smarter on hunts. Sam had to have felt all this too, so why would he stop? Why wouldn't he want to feel stronger and sharper and everything in between?

Your thoughts are cut off by the door behind you opening, your boyfriend sauntering in with a small greeting smile. "Hey babe."

"Hi." You smile back as you put some clothes in a drawer and the rest in the hamper.

"(Y/n), can you come with me for a second? I wanna show you something." He smiles, but you can see a hint of fear in his eyes.

"What's going on?" You ask suspiciously, stepping over to him.

"Just trust me, come on." He didn't give you time to question him again as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you along.

You followed him silently, seeing his shoulders and jaw tense as you stopped in front of a door. "The dungeon?"

He held out a small cloth in his hands. "Close your eyes."

You watch him suspiciously as he walks behind you, tying the blindfold on tightly. You feel the breeze of his hand waving in front of your face before a creaking of the door echoes through the halls.

He gently rests his hand on your back, leading into the room. He leads you past the secret door and through the demon trap to directly in front of the chair. He turns you and helps you sit down, his hands gently taking yours and setting them up on the arms of the chair.

You are about to ask what is going on when suddenly another pair of hands grabs your other wrist, holding you down as something closed down on your arms. "What the hell?!" You yell as you try to struggle, but the boys hold you firm.

"This is for the best, (y/n)." Dean grunts as he struggles to hold you down.

"What the hell are you doing to me?! Sam?!" You yell out, waving your head to get the blindfold off.

You feel the hands release you, but the cuffs are too strong for you, holding you tight to the chair. "I'm sorry (y/n)." Sam's voice rings with sadness as he pulls off the blindfold.

You look around to see Dean sitting on the table and Sam next to you. "Why are you tying me up?" You ask Sam, trying your best puppy dog eyes on him, sadly yours aren't as effective as his are.

"(Y/n), I'm going to ask you something and I need you to answer honestly, okay?" Sam asks as he walks over to Dean and sits next to him.

"Of course, what's wrong?"

"Do you drink demon blood?" You see the pain in his eyes, making that confidence you had before about the topic fade into nothingness.

"Yes...?" Your answer was unsure since you were trying to gauge his reaction.

Dean and Sam both turn to each other in silent communication before Dean stands and starts to circle around you like a shark. "When did you start?"

You wanted to shrink down in your seat and disappear to get away from the glares both boys were giving you. "Not long after we met." You whisper, but apparently it was loud enough for both of them to hear.

"Seriously? All this time and you never thought 'hey I'm pretty sure this isn't normal maybe I should say something about this'?" Dean growled, coming in front of you.

"It's never been a problem! It's not like it gives me weird superpowers or anything, it just makes me feel stronger! It makes me better at my job!" Sam and Dean's eyes both go wide as they look to each other.

Dean motions for Sam to follow, the pair going just outside the door in the hallway where you were just barely able to pick up on their conversation. "She didn't get any crazy powers?"

"Apparently. How come you did then?"

"Maybe it was Azazel? Whatever crap he did to me when I was a baby?"

"Maybe? She also doesn't seem to be as affected by it as you were."

"We probably just haven't waited long enough. I don't want her to go through what I did though, it was some messed up crap man."

What he went through? Powers? Azazel? Him as an infant? What the hell was he talking about?

"We will have to keep an eye on her."

They stand there for another moment before coming back in, reclaiming their previous spots, just switched so that Dean was leaning against the table and Sam was in front of you.

"What is going on Sam? I'm not going to hurt you, so what is the point of tying me down?" You ask, his eyes full of determination.

"A few years ago I was drinking demon blood too. When I tried to quit, let's just say it was not a pleasent experience. I just don't want you to get hurt."

You look at him confused. "So you were drinking demon blood? Why didn't you ever tell me about that?"

"I could ask you the same thing." He grumbles, crossing his arms.

"I did it because I knew how pissed you would be, though I was not expecting the intervention." You shrug, odly calm at the moment.

Sam is silent for a moment before beginning to circle you again. "Why did you start?"

"When you first found me and killed that demon, some of the blood splattered into my mouth. At first I was disgusted, but then I felt this rush like electricity in my veins and I had to have more." You stared at the floor in front of you, head tilted down so Sam couldn't see your face.

"Why didn't you say anything?" His voice had a hint of anger, but you could tell he was trying to hold it back.

"Like I said, I didn't want you mad at me. That stuff is addicting and it wasn't hurting me, in fact it made me better. I saw no harm in it."

"Normal people can't survive, it's too hard on their body and they slowly deteriorate, going crazy and physically burning from the inside out." Dean grumbles from his seat at the table.

Your eyes widen. "But, Sam survived."

"Let's just say my situation is a bit different." Sam mumbles barely loud enough for you to hear.

"So I'm going to go crazy and slowly burn from the inside out." You say with a groan.

"Not if we stop you now. How often do you drink?" Sam asks as he perches himself next to his brother.

"Once, maybe twice a month. And I don't drink that much either. Maybe a pint at most?" You are unsure how accurate that measurement is.

"Okay, so she may have some hope yet." Dean claps his hands together to signal a start of something.

"How much did you drink, Sam?" You ask, watching his jaw clench. "I'm sorry, if you do that want to say..."

"It's, uh..." You see him eye Dean, the older brother giving Sam a concerned face. "Let's just say a lot more than you did. My recovery was a lot harder than yours will be, hopefully anyway."

"Okay." You relented, relaxing into the chair. "What do I have to do?

 


	2. Chapter 2

You had been sitting in the chair for about 6 hours, your butt had fallen asleep 4 hours ago. Your movement was restricted as well as your contact. Sam and Dean rarely came in, usually only to check on your status. They were nice enough about it though, always asking if you needed anything (besides being let out of course).

You were about to fall asleep when you hear the familiar grinding of the false shelves blocking the dungeon. You force your eyes open to see Sam with a tray of food in his hands.

"Hey. I figured you might be hungry." He smiled awkwardly as he set the tray on the table. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired, sore, lonely. You know, the usual when your locked up." You try to put on a sarcastic smile, but realize your too tired to do even that.

You see Sam's gaze faulter for a moment before he quickly grabs the tray and sets it in your lap. "I'm gonna unhook your arms. Can you promise me you won't try to run?"

You huff. "Where would I go? I know you and Dean could easily chase me down, you guys are like freaking track stars."

Sam smiles. "Actually I was always the scrawny nerd." He chuckles as he unhooks the cuffs, you eyes wide.

"You? The bookworm? I mean I can see you being a bookworm, but the words: quiet, scrawny, and wallflower are not how I would describe you."

You thankfully rub your wrists as he sits on the edge of the table to watch you. "Well, alot has changed." His mind briefly wanders back to his time in school.

"I mean, you told me about Stanford, which is a hard enough school to get into anyway." You chomp down on the sandwich, thankful to put something in your stomach.

"I was actually there on a full ride." You watch him, waiting for him to start laughing, but he is serious.

"You got into Stanford on a full ride? Like, full paid pass into college?"

He nodded and you could see a small sense of pride in his face. "Yea. I was in pre law. I actually had an interview for law school. But I never got to it..." His voice trailed off in sadness.

"Right. Sorry." You add quickly as you sip some water. "Hey Sam, in all of my 6 hours locked down here, I had a thought."

"What was that?" He asked, though you could see the concern in his face.

"I only crave blood maybe once or twice a month. I just... Fed... The other day. Doesn't locking me up for a month seem kind of redundant if I'm not crazy for it?" You can practically see the gears turning in his head.

"Good point. However, how will Dean or I know when you start to want it again? We can't take you out on a hunt if we know you could sneak out." He shifted his weight, the memory of him in this situation coming back.

"I'll tell you. I don't even need to leave the bunker, just please don't chain me to the chair like an animal." You gave him your rendition of the puppy eyes. Sure they may not be as effective as his, but you knew sometimes they could be the difference between yes or no.

He took a deep breath, his arms crossing over his chest. "You swear? The tiniest thought of wanting some-"

"You will know before I do." You quickly blurt out.

"Fine. Finish your dinner first, you need to eat." He sighs as a large smile takes over your face.

You quickly set the plate aside and stand, walking to him and pulling him into a hug. "Thank you so much. I am so sorry about all of this Sam."

He holds you close, kissing the top of your head. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have just locked you up."

You pull away and look up at him. "That's what they did to you, wasn't it." You see his jaw clench, the tell tale sign you were right. "Sam, do you want to tell me what happened?"

He sighs and lowers his head as if dreading the conversation. "Maybe later?"

You nod and smile as you tilt his chin to look at you. "Of course. Here, how about I take the food back to our room and finish it. You come to bed when you are ready."

He nodded and kissed you quickly before releasing you. His eyes trailed you as you grabbed the tray and walked out the door. He didn't follow you, he knew he didn't need to. He trusted you enough to walk to your own room.

When you got there you did exactly what you said you would. You sat on the bed and finished your food, the tiredness you felt before coming back. You, however, had one last thing to do before you went to bed.

Setting the tray aside, you stand and grab your duffle, setting it on the bed and opening it. You have to dig a bit, but soon you pull out a silver flask with your initials on it. Your father gave you this flask not long before he died, and you had sullied the memory in the worst way possible.

So you took the flask to the bathroom and stood above the toilet. With a deep breath you unscrew the lid, the pungent scent instantly filling your nose. You wanted so badly to take a swig, one last horah, but you knew better. You were doing this not only for you, but for Sam. You had to stay strong, you couldn't bare to have him look at you like that again. Like you were so worthless and pitiable.

"Come on (y/n). You can do this." You whisper to yourself with hope a pep-talk will help you.

Finally, you tip the bottle, all of the thick liquid pouring out. You watch with a sad fascination as the blood mixed with the water, slowly clouding out and dying the water a sick red. The last few drops fell from the mouth of the bottle, signalling the end of the supply.

You flip the bottle back over and watch the water for a few more seconds before reaching over and flushing the toilet. The blood spun around and sank down, finally away from you.

This was the first step in recovery. You had gotten rid of the offending liquid you had in access, what you didn't know was that someone else was there. Sam had entered just as you whispered your words of encouragement, stepping back to watch as you rid yourself of the last of your stores. He couldn't help but smile, knowing you understood the importance of this as much as he did. He was proud.

He backed out, not wanting to be seen by you, but he couldn't deny how badly he wanted to rush back in and tell you how proud he was of you and how much what he just witnessed meant to him. However, he knew better. He knew you needed time on your own to accept how big of a victory this was in your own right.

You come out of the bathroom and look around, you could have sworn you heard something. Thinking its just the exhaustion you ignore it and go back to your room. You quickly change and crawl under the covers, so ready for this day to be over.

Just as you feel the pull off sleep you hear the door quickly open and close. "Sam?" You mumbled quietly, a small grunt in affermation coming from him. With that you relax again and fall asleep before he can even hit the covers.

He slides in next to you and wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close as he breaths in your scent. He waits a bit before whispering quietly.

"I'm so proud of you."

 


	3. Chapter 3

It's been a few weeks since the fiasco with the boys tieing you up in the dungeon. Dean wasn't happy at first to see you out of your ropes, but after Sam explained his reasoning Dean relaxed. His eyes, however, followed you like a hawk. You knew both boys were watching you close, waiting for the fall. 

You have been clean for 3 weeks, and it felt better than you thought. You figured you would be writhing on the ground begging for a hit by now, but here you were sitting at the kitchen table with the boys and eating pancakes. The boys were teasing each other, per usual, and you sat back and enjoyed it. 

The boys have been staying close to home with the hunts they take so that they can come to you when you inevitably crash. It's a sweet gesture, but in truth you felt like you were troubling them. It wasn't some big onset of chronic depression bad, but a small twinge of guilt in the back of your mind.

You sat in the library looking at a book that Sam had asked you to finish cataloguing. You were alone, the boys a state over to help a friend with a vamps nest. Sam tried to insist they didn't need to go, but you couldn't let them sit this out because you were iffy, so you let them go. 

You reread the line for the twelfth time before finally leaning back to rub your eyes. They stung from your incessant staring at the dusty old book. You felt your stomach rumble and decided maybe you could get away with a short food break.

You slide the chair back and stand as a spell of dizziness washed over you. You grab the table to steady yourself and lean against it for support. You attempt to sit back down, but your vision becomes blurred and you fall to the floor.

Blindly, you reach for the cell phone you knew was on the table as a headsplitting headache set in. You squeeze your eyes shut in an attempt to shut out the pain and dizziness right as your hands make contact with the screen of your phone. When you try to grab it, the phone falls off of the table next to you on the floor. 

You open your eyes, the blurred vision mostly gone, but the headache seems to get worse with the flood of light in your eyes. With a hiss in pain, you dial Sam's number and put it on speaker.

************  
Sam attempts to wipe a bit off vamp blood from his cheek as Dean begins to laugh. "Dude, you got drenched."

He tries to glare at his brother, but a smile on his face ruins it. "You're not looking any better."

Dean was about to retort when Sam's phone began ringing. He pulled it out and looked to the caller ID with a concerned look before answering. "(Y/n)? What's wrong?" He could hear your pained breathing and groaning from his side, he knew things weren't good. 

He waved to Dean to get in the car, and they sped back to the bunker, Sam never hanging up. Your breathing was ragid and horse, but you were breathing and that's what he focused on. It took a few hours for them to get back, a few hours you spent on the floor writhing in agony as you waited for Sam to come save you.

You had gone numb, the pain rolling back and forth in waves as a hunger took over your thoughts. Blood. Blood. Need it now. Now you layed down on the floor, waiting, wondering, when will he come? Is he even going to come, or is he so disgusted that he is going to let you rot and die down there?

Your thoughts are stopped by the loud slam of metal and hurried steps down the stairs. Your sure that whoever was coming for you was calling to you, but you couldn't hear it very well.

"Sam?" You ask before another wave of pain shoots through you when he touches you. 

Your brain says to move closer into his arms to look for some sort of comfort he could offer, but your body screams out in pain and tells you to get away from him.

You tug on his jacket and pull him close. "Sam... It hurts..." You squeek out, the pain washing over you again as Sam stood with you in his arms.

He quickly carried you down the stairs to your shared room and laid you down on the bed. A panic rose in him as he tried to get your attention, which you returned with only groans and grunts in pain. 

"(Y/n)? Babe, hey come on, you have to stay awake." He chanted as Dean came in, brandishing a few chains.

Sam glared at him, but knew it had to be done to protect not only you, but them as well. Sam helped Dean shackle you down to the bed, rags wrapped around your wrists to prevent the metal from cutting you. 

After getting you secured to the bed, Sam sat back with a sigh. He hated to see you like this, and could only imagine what Dean and Bobby went through when he did this. Sam felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Dean handing him a beer. He took it with a nod before turning back to where you lay on the bed.

"We should leave her be for now. She needs to rest." Dean sighs, taking a swig of his own beer.

"It's ok, I'll stay here." Sam sips some of his own as he shifts to a more comfortable position on the chair.

"Are you sure you want to see all this crap? You will only be making yourself suffer."

Sam turned and scowled at Dean. "No offence Dean, but after everything that happened, being locked alone in a room with nothing but hallucinations of the people I loved telling me how much of a failure I am was the last thing I needed." Sam looked at a shocked Dean with a sigh before turning back around. "I'll stay. If you wanna go that's fine." He said it a little harder than he meant to. "I know what she's going through, and I don't want to to think she's alone in this." He whispered more to himself than Dean, but he knew his brother heard him.

With a silent nod Dean left the room, the door closing with a soft thud behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

You look around to see you are in your room, your limbs chained down to the bed. You look around the empty room and wonder if this is what you have to look forward to for a while. You test the restraints, giving up when you realize those suckers are solid.

 

You are about to attempt a nap when a familiar face walks in, closing the door behind him. "Sam." You smile a little, him returning it.

 

"Hey babe. How are you feeling?" He asks as he pulls up a chair next to you.

 

"Better, still little twitchy though, kinda sweaty." You try to hide the pain in your gut, not wanting him to worry.

 

"That's too bad, I was hoping to see you suffer a bit more." He smiles, your eyes widening in shock.

 

"Wait, what?"

 

"I mean, when I did this I was getting thrown across the room in a demonic seizure. Here you are with your pretty ass chained to the bed with not so much as a pain. I really had myself going there." He leaned back in his chair and combed his fingers through his hair.

 

You were at a total loss for words, so Sam continued. "I mean, you don't have the demon blood in you like I do, so I figured you would have worse symptoms. Though, you weren't sucking down demons day and night like I did."

 

"I...Wha-..." You couldn't even begin to string together the millions of words going through your head. You froze to your spot as tears began to streak down your face.

 

"Don't cry (y/n), it will only get worse from here. You're a tough little girl scout, you can handle it." The grin on his face as he leaned in caused you to turn away in fear of vomiting. 

 

You felt a gentle kiss on your cheek and a hand combing through your hair, pulling you to reality. You open your eyes to see none other than Sam, Dean standing next to him with a mug of coffee in his hands.

 

"Morning sunshine." Dean grumbles, his messy blonde hair and tired eyes telling you he must have just woken up.

 

"Hey babe. How are you feeling?" Sam asks, your mind twisting back to your last encounter.

 

"Like my head's gonna explode and I'm gonna hurl on your shoes." You groan as you pull against the chains.

 

You see Dean take a step back as Sam goes to grab a bucket, leaving the room. "So..." Dean sighs and takes another sip before setting his cup aside.

 

"Are you gonna give me the big brother lecture? 'Cause I'm not in the mood." You groan as he sits in Sam's spot.

 

"No, I'm gonna tell you how you are not worth mine or Sammy's time." You look at him in disbelief as he continues. "Honestly when he first picked up the piece of trash he calls a girlfriend I was ready to just gank you and call it a day. I knew from the start you were a useless dumbass who would get in trouble. But you know Sam, always picking up the charity case." 

 

You wanted to roll away, hide under the covers, something to get away from his judging eyes. The words he spoke stung you worse than Sam's had. You knew he was a dream, but Dean was so real. He was here. You could smell his coffee.

 

"You can't hide from what you are, hell I've been trying to do that for years. All that has gotten me is trouble. Curses, the mark, Sammy walking out on me. And now you. You are probably the worst of them all though. You never thought of what would happen to me or Sammy, just had to feed your inner junky. You even know how useless you are and thought that a hit could boost you enough to not be total dead weight. Backfired a bit, didn't it?"

 

You fought against your bonds, pulling as far as you could away from him as possible. "Woah, hey calm down." Sammy's soothing voice called to you as he set down the bucket next to you.

 

"You're gonna hurt yourself sweetheart." Dean's familiar rumble wasn't far behind Sam.

 

"Please." You begged, though the guys had no idea what for as you began to sob.

 

Dean and Sam share a look before Sam realizes what's going on. "They've started, huh. The hallucinations." He sighed, giving Dean a concerned look.

 

You nod silently as Sam takes your hand, his fingers sliding into yours. "They are not real, they are horrible, but they are not real." Sam brushed a tear from your cheek.

 

"One of us will be here at all times from now on." Dean nods, Sam giving him a silent thank you.

 

You see Dean nod before leaving the room, you and Sam left alone. "I'm so sorry." You cry, Sam stroking your hair from your face.

 

"It's okay. We can talk about it all later, right now you need to get some rest." He gives you a small smile before pecking your forehead.

 

You nod and lay back, shifting slightly to get comfortable. You let your eyes close to the soft sound of Sam's breathing and the feel of his hand in yours. It doesn't take long before you fall asleep, the nightmares only the beginning.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

You look around to see you are no longer strapped down to the bed, in fact you aren't in the bed at all. You are standing in the middle of the library. The bunker is eerily quiet, not even the usual hum of the motor that you can normally hear when it's quiet enough. The silence is deafening.

You decide to go look for the guys, but when you turn around you slam into a solid body. Quickly shifting back, you look up to see Sam. He gives you a small smile and tilts his head a little.

"Sam, oh my God am I happy to see you." You clutch your chest in hopes you can make the puttering of your heart slow down.

"Should you be, though?" He blinks and his eyes turn a sick yellow color.

You try to step away from him, but your rear end slams into the table, keeping you from escaping. "Sam!"

"Look what you did to yourself. I try to justify what you did, thinking of when I did it. I enjoyed it, I reveled in it, but you... I don't even know where to start with how disappointed I am in you."

Tears start to pour onto your cheeks as you slip past him and run down the hall. You look back to make sure he's not following and you slam into someone else, falling to your rear from the force. You look up to see Dean, his eyes pitch black and a knife in his hand.

"Hello sweetheart. I'm sure your hungry." The smile of his face is sinister as he takes the knife and slices across the side of his throat, blood spilling out across his shoulder. "Take a sip."

You shake your head and stand, running passed him and further into the bunker. You make it to the basement and look around, no one in there with you. You let out a sigh and sit on the ground, your head in your hands. A few tears spill into your palm as a sniffle escapes from you.

A warm hand presses against your back, making you jump. When you turn around you see your deceased mother in casual clothes and a small smile.

"Mom?" You ask in disbelief as you look her up and down.

"Yes honey, it's me." She moves her hand up and down your back a few more times before sitting next to you.

"Mom, I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen." You shake your head.

"It's okay. I know you are trying to do what you felt was right." She let her arm fall away from your back and rest on your thigh.

"How can you be so calm? I drank the blood of demons to try and make myself become stronger because I know how useless I am. How does that not register as a bad thing to you?Oh, right. You're dead." You shake your head and shift away from her.

"It's not what you did, but the intentions behind this actions. You drank demon blood because you wanted to be able to help your friends. The idea behind it is what matters most." She tries to give you a reassuring smile.

"That's like saying 'it's the thought that counts' when someone gets you an ugly sweater for Christmas." Your mother laughs at your comment.

"They didn't have to do or get you anything, but they did, so yes that's exactly it. It may not have been the best idea, but you did this for a reason. To be strong. You didn't need that blood to prove you are a strong woman. You will always be the strongest, most brave woman I will ever meet. Remember that." With one last nod she stands and disappears.

You force yourself to stand and wipe away the tears, ready to face the demons running around in your head.   
You look around for a weapon then look down to see you have the demon blade in your hand.

"Come on out (y/n), there's no use hiding!" Sam and Dean's voices call out to you.

Taking a deep breath, you open the door and make your way into the hall, cautiously sliding around corners. The way voices echo in the bunker makes it hard to feel where they are, but it sounds like they've joined forces against you.

You turn around to look behind you just as a hammer is flying towards your head. You duck out of the way in time and look down the corridor to see Dean with his black eyes and evil grin. You turn to run, but are grabbed by Sam. He holds you firmly by the arms.

You stab him in the stomach and run past him, not caring for him since this is only a dream. You run a ways further and hide in one of the recessed sections of the wall and wait for them. You hear footsteps coming and prepare to strike.

"That hurt babe, your gonna pay for that." Sam's voice echoed down the hall, sounding close.

You give it a few more seconds before turning and taking a stab, slicing right into Deans throat. He chokes a little before an orange light shines from him and he falls lifelessly to the floor.

You see the anger flare in Sam as he grabs your throat and shoves you back into the wall. "You stupid-" He is cut off by your knife burying itself in his chest.

"I'm so sorry Sam." You whisper as you watch his body fall.

You slowly slide down the wall, tears welling up in your eyes as you look at their bodies. You killed your best friends, yes it may have been a dream, but the guilt felt real.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, then when you open then again you are back in your bed. You look over to see none other than Dean chilling in the chair next to you, Sam perched on the edge of the bed.

"Hey." You smile weakly.

"Hey." He smiles back.

"How are you feeling?" Dean asks as he sets aside his laptop.

"Better. I think you can unchain me." You swallow hard, your mouth extremely dry.

Sam and Dean both quickly unhook your bonds and help you sit up. "Thanks guys. I'm so sorry about everything."

"Shh. It's okay. It's over now." Sam pulls you in for a warm hug, something you have really needed these last couple of days.

 


End file.
